Archive for October, 2016


 

“I think it’s terrible if you go with what Hillary is saying… in the ninth month you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb of the mother just prior to the birth of the baby. Now, you can say that that’s okay, and Hillary can say that that’s okay, but it’s not okay with me. Because based on what she’s saying and based on where she’s going and where she’s been, you can take the baby and rip the baby out of the womb in the ninth month, on the final day. And that’s not acceptable.” – Donald Trump , Las Vegas NV, 10/19/2016
Ever find yourself ‘woman-splaining’ women’s issues to a guy? You know, like, how no matter how evolved they are, they can’t understand fully how it FEELS to be a woman? There’s no ‘put yourself in my shoes’ examples that can fit. You can be sympathetic, but you really just don’t know how it feels.. No more than a woman can understand a man’s need to scratch his groin area every few minutes.. It’s gross.. Dude, stop.. No, seriously, get that shit checked out already k?
But the one thing men REALLY seem to not understand, is a woman’s reproductive system. I mean, they know the basics and many actually have evolved enough to care to read about all the stages a woman goes through from conception to birth, and stick by through every step of the process. But what’s become glaringly obvious, is that most men, even those who have had, say,  not just one kid, but 5, with 3 different women, still don’t have a clue.

Nothing can be more obvious than Trump’s ridiculous, insulting and glaringly ignorant remarks about “Late Term Abortions,” (please see above), and the largely clueless male response to the topic.

** An aside to the men who didn’t see anything wrong with Trump’s ‘opinion’ about Late Term abortions: Fuck you for not doing some research before saying stupid shit.  Kudos to the women in your life for not gagging you until you learn something.**
So for the past 36 hours or so, in addition to not being able to get Janet Jackson’s “Nasty Boys” out of my head, I’ve also found myself explaining why Trump’s answer is further proof that neither he, nor any man who doesn’t have a medical degree specializing in women’s health, should have any business trying to discuss, let alone pass legislation, on a woman’s right to do what she feels necessary for her own well-being.. I can go off on a rant about a woman’s right to choose, but I’ll just stick to Trump’s incredibly stupid remarks on late term abortions, which had me screaming at my TV.
Facts:
  • “Late-term” is after the 20th week of pregnancy. (24 weeks in some states) 
  •  Legally, unless either the health of the mother is in danger, or the fetus is not viable,  abortion after the 20th or 24th week of pregnancy is illegal in most states of the  union. What I’m saying is, you really can’t just walk in at week 25 and have an  abortion without a serious medical reason for it, let alone at week 36.
Reality check:  No woman carries a baby nearly to term and then arbitrarily says “nah, ya know what doc, rip it out of me, I don’t want it.”
Most women, who have carried a baby beyond the point of legal abortion,  WANT the baby. These women more than likely have had their baby showers, painted the baby’s room and picked out names. Making this decision is most likely the WORST thing that can happen to a woman who wants a child (probably only next to being told she can’t have any).
I’m not saying there aren’t women who get cold feet later in their pregnancies and think “holy shit, what am I doing having a kid?” That’s normal. And in extreme cases those women should, and often do, seek out medical assistance for their psyche – not an abortion.
Just to be clear – those of you who still think that Hillary Clinton approves “ripping a baby out of the mother even on the due date” – she doesn’t.
The fact that Donald Trump is an idiot about this topic, still holds true, however.
An all out ban on late term abortions, which is what Trump, and his frienemy, Paul Ryan, are hoping to make happen, is dangerous to women. I have no illusion that Trump or Ryan particularly care about women. Trump cares about Trump, and Ryan is just an asshole who advocates for rapist’s rights, but I digress.
The ban that the conservatives are looking to enact would have NO exclusions – none. That means that women carrying a fetus who may be suffering in utero, or who has no brain function, or who won’t survive outside the uterus for more than a few painful breaths, will be forced to endure the pregnancy and give birth to a baby who will live its short life in pain. Or, a woman who’s life is in danger because the baby she is carrying, who won’t survive outside of her womb, is killing her from the inside. It’s rare, but it happens.(Statistically speaking, 1% of abortions performed in the USA are performed after the 21st week of pregnancy. 1% folks, just saying).
To put a finer point on it, what Conservatives are saying is that they want every woman to carry every child to term, even if she’s carrying a brain-dead fetus who will never live outside her body, and who may actually end up killing her if she carries it to term. Right to life, my ass! What the FUCK?!  Anyone who can agree with that is an asshole. Yeah, I’m saying it. Fuck you. Unfriend me. Thanks. Life’s better already
** Oh and just an aside – If a woman has carried a baby to term the result is usually some form of birth, not abortion.  Even when doctors are fairly certain that a fetus isn’t viable, at 8-9 months they will still  either try to remove the child via c-section, or if the mother can handle it, vaginal birth – unless, the only way to ensure the mother’s health, again, is to abort the already not viable fetus. In any case the only ‘ripping’ that is usually being done, is in the mother’s sensitive areas because, well, baby-heads are kinda big.  But you know, Trump’s not the best at speaking coherently.  And anyway, Trump might enjoy grabbing a woman by the ‘pussy’ but he clearly knows nothing about vagina’s beyond what he thinks he can do with them. **
I can’t stress this enough – A woman who makes the decision to have a late term pregnancy terminated does so, in most cases, because she was told the baby she was carrying was not going to survive out of the womb. In rarer cases, the decision is made because of a danger to the mother. Again, most women who choose to go forward with a pregnancy beyond the 20 week mark, are playing for keeps. So, even in the case where the doctor tells a woman HER life is in danger, she, along with her doctor, will usually choose an option that will keep the baby inside her for as long as possible to at least TRY to have a healthy premature birth – not a late term abortion.  
 
“Wait,” you say, “what about the father’s decision?”  (Can you tell, I’ve spoken to ALOT of guys on this topic?). Here’s my take – If the father  is involved (not all are – just saying), then absolutely he should be in on the decision making process. But the ultimate choice goes to the person carrying the baby (which is, I believe, the only reason men are so determined to regain control of the issue – they hate that women have ALL the control in this case – but that’s a discussion for another time).
If say, the father  actually wants to go through with a late term abortion, and the mother decides to see if she can carry longer to ensure a baby’s survival, guess what daddy, her decision trumps (punny, I know) yours. If the opposite is true, guess what, again, it’s ultimately up to her. In this situation, the job of the father (or partner) is to be supportive. Don’t like it? Tough shit.
Until men can carry babies (and pigs fly, and hell freezes over, and Trump stops being a misogynistic pile of festering feces), the person that has the ultimate say on what can and can’t be done with HER body, is the woman. Doctors can advise, give options, and perform whatever procedures necessary. Fathers (or partners) can be a sounding board, shoulder to cry on, person who holds her hand while she goes through with whatever choice she made.
But the ultimate decision is up to the woman. Not men, not men in government, not men standing at a pulpit, not even the man sharing her bed – just her.
Now about that whole “Nasty Woman” thing….
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On an old tape from 2005, Trump was caught saying a whole lot of nasty stuff about women. Lewd, crude, and well, downright disgusting.

But, didn’t we already know he was a disgusting misogynist?

Why are folks so overwhelmingly outraged with this new evidence of old news?

This is a man who has said worse things in public. He’s hinted at assassination of his opponent; Said that a respected POW who dedicated his life to public service wasn’t really a hero because he got caught; Started off a debate defending the size of his hands and, ‘other’ things; Called women who opposed him pigs, and dogs; Made baseless accusations claiming that the father of another opponent had something to do with the JFK assassination (and now has me defending Ted Cruz); Intimated that another female opponent was too unattractive to be President (seriously, has he looked in a mirror, ever?); Has been accused of sexual misconduct by former female employees; Spent a whole week blasting a former Miss Universe, even invited us to go check out a sex tape (one that didn’t even exist, btw).

The list goes on.

So why are we all up in arms about THIS tape. Why is THIS the excuse folks in the GOP are using to distance themselves from him? Why did his poll numbers drop significantly after THIS tape got out? Why did it take this tape to finally make even the rapists’ biggest advocate, Paul Ryan, say “enough”?

I’m not sure. I can say, from my point of view it’s not what he said, it’s what he claimed he could get away with. But then again, even this wasn’t really news.

I am not a prude and I understand “Locker Room Talk.” As a woman who was often the ‘sister’ to many a non-related male friends, I’ve heard some of the stuff guys say when they find a woman attractive. So, lets for the sake of argument say he was talking about what he would like to do to women. He was having a private conversation with his buddy, during a break in the taping of a segment for TV, that just happened to be caught on a mic that was accidentally not shut off, during which they both were engaging in “Locker Room Talk” – Fine. If that had all it had been, no harm, no foul.

It was that he bragged about groping women without their consent that bothers me. It is the very fact that he claims that his celebrity will allow him to do whatever the hell he wants to women, that bothers me. Was it a private conversation? Sure. Then again, I’d say that Robert. Durst would have had even more of an expectation of privacy when he was talking about murders he committed while taking a leak, but I digress.

The fact is, this man who is running for President of the United States, admitted, whether it was in private or not, (and there’s a case to be made that he was talking to a ‘journalist’ and that they were taking a break between ‘takes’ – and the mic hadn’t been turned off.. but then again, please see Robert Durst) – to groping women without their consent is the part that folks like me can’t seem to wrap their heads around. Bragging about violating women’s personal space kind of goes beyond simple “locker room talk” – doesn’t it?

We have supposedly evolved, no? I mean, I get it, folks are all pissed off about the whole “PC” culture, and how we can’t say anything without offending someone, and I understand that. But even that outrage should have some limits. There’s a difference between “PC” and common decency, isn’t there?

This isn’t a man who kept the “locker room” talk to private moments with his buddy. This is a guy, who, on national television, leered at a woman while telling her that the image of her down on her knees was a pretty sight. This is a guy who went after a moderator during the primary debates, calling her a bimbo, and claiming she was “bleeding out of her wherever” because she had the audacity to confront him about his history of mistreatment of women. This is a guy who told Howard Stern it was okay to call his daughter, Ivanka, a “piece of ass.”

What I’m saying is, Trump has always been a misogynistic douchebag – Always. So why all the sudden outrage over this current proof of something we all, both his supporters and his detractors, already knew?

I understand that hearing him say “you can grab them by the pussy” may have been shocking. His admission of being sexually aggressive with women, whether they were willing or not, in my mind, is criminal, and absolutely perpetuates the social norm of “boys will be boys” that would allow a star athlete to get away with rape, despite being caught red handed in the act. But, what is so different with this tape? He’s ALWAYS been this way… He didn’t just wake up one morning in 2005 and decide to go all “Mad Men” meets “Jabba the Hut” with Billy Bush.

Maya Angelou once said “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Did any of us actually NOT believe that he was a disgusting misogynist?  All this audio recording did was re-confirm everything we already knew about Trump. He’s a vile pig.

Where was all the outrage back when Ivana accused him of spousal rape? Where was all the outrage back when he actually did grope women, or violate their rights? Where were all these females suddenly coming out to discuss his disgusting behavior before he ever even started his campaign? (On that last note, I’ll guess they were afraid of violating the disclosure forms they had to sign upon being hired, but at this point? Come on. This is a little bit important, no?)

And to the GOP folks finally pulling their support of this asshole – Why now? Why didn’t you throw this disgusting mother fucker out of the race before it ever got this far? This is YOUR fault –  100%. You could have nominated a decent member of your party – hell, I wouldn’t have voted for any of them, but fine, I’m a lefty liberal – but I’d have respected the decision. NOW you’re pissed off? NOW you believe women need to be championed? Fuck you. Seriously. Yes, Paul Ryan, I’m looking at you, you whiny, wimpy advocate for the rights of Rapists. Fuck you sideways.

My favorites are the members of the GOP who though they could change Trump, or mold him into someone remotely resembling a human being fit to lead the country.

There is no ‘taming’ Trump. There is no ‘changing’ him either. He’s a 70-year-old man whose formative years were spent watching his mother cater to his father’s every need, and who grew up at a time when it was okay to smack your secretary on the ass, call her ‘sweetheart’ and speak openly about how much you’d love to bang her and admit  that her appearance was why you hired her in the first place. He never evolved beyond those cave man tendencies. He never will. Have you ever seen the way he hugs his daughters? The little taps he gives them right on the hips, touching  their butts? He’s GROSS. Even those people who STILL support him realize what they’re dealing with here.

And yeah, I don’t understand how any female, or anyone who respects females could defend him, or support him. But whatever, I’m not going to judge. I can’t. Judgement comes from a far higher entity than myself. I don’t understand it. I never will. I would like to lash out at every woman who supports him. But it’s not my place, and God knows if they’ve supported him this far, they won’t change their minds now. Like he said, he can shoot someone in the middle of 5th avenue, and his supporters will still be there for him. So why bother? And why bother calling names or losing my shit over folks who I feel are misguided. It’s their business who they vote for. If their conscience can deal with it, then that’s their issue, not mine.

So, again, I ask, to those so suddenly outraged by what this guy said on tape? Why now? Nothing’s changed. He’s still the same old douche bag he always was.

I almost have to wonder at the timing of the leak. Suddenly, the debate is about his ‘locker room’ talk, and not about his unreleased taxes. Suddenly, we’re not talking about the fact that the NY Attorney General is investigating Trump’s fraud of a charity. Suddenly, Trump has, at least in his warped brain, an excuse to bring out all of Bill Clinton’s dirty laundry.  Suddenly, we’re not talking about the truly evil things that Trump has done – his failure as a businessman; husband; human. No, now we are talking about a tape, where he says a lot of vile shit, but a tape that reveals nothing that anyone didn’t already know about him.

Trump has some brilliant strategists on his side (Roger Ailes, for example, the inventor of the Trump we see today, and the guy who made you believe that everything bad, including your paper cut, is somehow Obama’s fault). They knew this tape thing would distract us… So before we go all ape shit on Trump supporters for their acquiescence in his misogyny, bigotry, homophobia and xenophobia — maybe we need to figure out “Why now?” And, “What’s different?” And “What are they trying to distract us from this time?” Because this is more than just about an audio of  an old misogynistic asshole talking smack about women.