Unpopular rant here, bear with me. I realize it’s going to be weird to hear this side of an argument from a ‘lefty-liberal’ like me.
I’m fed up with the ‘woke’ folks.
I’m a cisgender heterosexual white female.
I prefer the pronouns “She/Her.” I earned the right to be referred to as “Ms.” or “Mrs.” (but will smack you into tomorrow if you friggen ma’am me)
Why the hell should I be made to feel ashamed of any of that?
I respect everyone. Regardless of your preferred pronoun, who you love, color of your skin, religion – I respect other human beings and do my best to always see people the way they see themselves and the way they want to be seen.
But I have to draw a line when it comes to the, let’s say, “well intentioned” but wholly misguided efforts to foster inclusivity by actually excluding and shaming folks who are fine with their own personal lives as they are.
Today I was forwarded an article, with a link to a private school in NYC called Grace Church School. They have a policy that I find ridiculous and disrespectful and totally out of line that may or may not be in consideration by the larger NYC public school system.
Among other ‘woke’ ideas (ie: don’t refer to kids by their assigned gender, ie: “girls” or “boys” or ever refer to the class as a whole as ‘guys’ – something already implemented, apparently, in most DOE schools), there was something about how kids should be discouraged from referring to their parents by the terms “mom” or “dad.” Now, I’m not talking about the alarmist shit written in the article about this new policy (I mean it was in the NY Post, so obviously their rhetoric regarding the policy was going to be suspect, so I read the policy itself).
As per the verbiage in the policy, It’s not just that they don’t want teachers referring to the kids’ guardians as ‘mother’ and ‘father,’ they are instructed to discourage the kids themselves from calling their parents “mom” and “dad” because there might be kids in the classroom who don’t live with their biological or adoptive parents and therefore they may be offended. Listen, I get it. Some kids don’t live with parents. Some kids live in foster care of with other family members. But to discourage the kids who live with their parents, whose parents want to be called “mom” or “dad” from doing so, really?
WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL are we teaching kids? And how the hell does this policy do anything other make kids who are blessed with parents feel guilty for having a mom and/or a dad, or two moms or two dads?
I’m sorry, but I don’t know any parent, be it a birth parent or an adoptive parent, who doesn’t love the sound of the word “mom” or “dad” coming out of their child’s mouth.
Oh and while we are at it, I understand that there’s a whole lot of work we need to do as a society to be more equitable – especially when it comes to race. But when my seven-year-old nephew is asking if he’s a bad person because he’s white – because of a new policy teaching “Black excellence/White Privilege” to first graders who haven’t even learned about slavery and this country’s reprehensible history, then the schools are failing in that mission. Don’t you think?
Isn’t the mission supposed to be that we are supposed to be equal, regardless of color of skin, ethnicity, or race? You really think that making a seven-year-old feel guilty for something he has no control over (the color of his skin) is somehow going to make it better for anyone?
That kid also happens to be Jewish – which means his ancestors had their own issues, like Tzar sanctioned pogroms where his ancestors were raped and murdered because they were Jewish, or more recently, the Holocaust where his great-grandfather’s entire family was wiped out because of their religion.
And don’t tell me it’s any better for Jews now, in this country. Sorry, I’ve seen the swastikas and heard the chants of “Jews will not replace us” on the Republican side, and the anti-Israeli sentiment on the far left of the Democratic side – we’ve got it pretty fucking bad ourselves. Should I be offended that no one is standing up for me or my kind or teaching the children of White Anglo Saxons Protestants or Catholics that they are evil because their ancestors likely benefitted from burning Jews at the stake for not wanting to convert?
I am incensed. Obviously.
You want to be ‘woke’ and make it easier for all of us to get along? Then don’t do it by making anyone feel bad for being who they are.
We are all human beings and the thing we need to teach our kids is to respect one another as human beings. To understand that some had it rougher, for generations, is fine. To teach them that historically, certain groups have been treated unfairly and continue to be treated unfairly, and that changes need to be made so that we can all be treated fairly, is absolutely necessary.
But what they’re doing now? That’s shameful and wrong. And it’s not doing anyone any good – regardless of their race, ethnicity, gender, or religion. In fact, it’s downright harmful and won’t foster equality or inclusiveness. In fact, it’s more likely to further divide us as a nation.
End rant. If you’ve stayed with me this far, thanks.